for this past week, those words kept playing in my head like a broken record. i tried to reminisce and romanticize every step i took, because it’s not an episode i will ever go through again. it doesn’t feel real and i’m constantly in denial about it. how could it be real when your “usual” will shortly be a “used to”? nothing will ever prepare you for the massive shift you’re gonna face.
all the forced transitions i’m going have to adapt to.
no more 8 am bikun ride to FISIP, the after-class power nap at Gekom, having to decide whether to eat at Takor, Sejiwa, Kansas, or just went back to eat at Waren Kutek. all the familiar faces i see on my 11 am class at Gedung H. the super chonky orange cat who never seems to be awake everytime we walk by Selasar Gus. being a “budak proker” and trying to make ends meet. holding hands as you walk back from campus with nothing but your lingering qeue of assignments in your head.
occured multiple times, and that’s all we will ever gonna get.
is it selfish to say that what we had was not enough? is it wrong to say that we were robbed for the wasted 2 years, all the could’ve been? blaming some faceless object for the lost times is surely better than having to face the indisputable truth that is reality. too many options, too little time.
but what is time, if not a silly little concept to smush us into our place. irrationaly pushes us beyond our limit. breaking our boundaries for the better or for worse. we were chased and trampled, but somehow managed to pull through every. single. time. so i guess, whatever the future holds, we’re gonna make it somehow. and that’s an enough reason to go on.
occured multiple times, and that’s what we’ll always gonna get.
